No, you can still breathe under the balls.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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