Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
