I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
