This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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