He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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