marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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