yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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