32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
