You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
