I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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