Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
