If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Please don't give away my fajitas
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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