i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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