I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
