So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
