babies were throwing up all over the place
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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