Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
