He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
