Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
