we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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