You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize