there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
