mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
