So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
