I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
