then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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