He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
