Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
