I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize