just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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