I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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