They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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