I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Terrible idea I love it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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