I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
