just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They took my balls.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
