for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He shit in the fireplace
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
