we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
