I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
