Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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