I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
