I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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