Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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