I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
