You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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