i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
