Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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