Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
