He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
