Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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