I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
