He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
