There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
3pm strippers are depressing
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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